Me: Okay, so the next two commonly confused words are "that" and "who." Remember to use "who" with humans, for example, "Anyone who wants a piece of gum can have one," but use "that" with non-humans and objects. For example, "The horse that I bought yesterday."
(sarcastic snickering from the back of the class)
Me: Um...can I help you guys back there? What's so funny?
Note: The boy I called on says the following in this "game, set, match" kind of voice. I wouldn't have been surprised if after delivering this sentence he had gotten out of his seat, high fived his buddies, and yelled "in your face!!"
Boy: We just want to know how it's possible that a horse isn't human.
Boy: I mean, it's alive.
After all the hell this boy has put me through, I really wanted to laugh in his face. However, I'm the teacher, and I have to be responsible.
So I let the students laugh in his face while I stood there calming explaining that a horse is an animal and not a human.
On a side note, how am I supposed to teach kids the difference between "affect" and "effect" if they don't know the difference between humans and animals?!?!?!