Note: All laughter in the exchange is PURELY sarcastic. "Friend" is in quotation marks b/c, as this post will demonstrate, her friendship with me is on thin ice.
Computer rings (instantly I am greeted with a 4 inch picture of my face that conveys to me EXACTLY how bad I look when I spend all day in sweatpants):
"Friend": Woah, ponytail and glasses...not much has changed since law school, huh?
Me: Haha...So, what's up?
"Friend": Not much, you?
Me: Same...just doing homework, eating guacamole, and drinking coke.
"Friend": Wow...nothing really has changed since law school.
Me: Haha (take a drink of coke...it spills down the side of my mouth and onto my left boob...crap...maybe she didn't see)
"Friend": Did you spit coke out the side of your mouth?!
Me: Ewwww!! Of course not! I just...missed...my...mouth. (Yeah, like that's better.)
In case you didn't notice...EVERYTHING INSULTING THAT HAPPENED TO ME DURING THIS PHONE CALL HAPPENED BECAUSE OF VIDEO CHAT. If she had just called me on the phone like a normal person, she never would have witnessed my horrible grooming standards or my inability to drink a beverage like a person who has progressed past the age of three.
Video chat 1, Self esteem 0